Answering emails. Crushing to-do lists. Creating. Publishing. Showing up to every meeting. Being a good facilitator. Jumping on every opportunity. Demonstrating kindness. Helping others shine.
That was me.
But it wasn’t always for me. That’s the part that I think some people struggle to understand.
I often sacrificed myself for others. Because I believed in them when they didn’t believe in themselves. Because kindness to me is not a ruse – it’s exactly who I am.
But that person is gone. It’s not me anymore. And I’m probably more surprised than anyone.
In the last few months, and especially in January, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on my past, all the people who didn’t show up for me when I needed them to, the betrayers who sabotaged me when it mattered most, the countless challenges that nearly took me out, and the loneliness I’ve felt on this journey…
(Okay, some of you reading this really don’t think I’ve gone through anything hard, but just in the last three years, I’ve gone through things that would make a grown adult go home crying to their mommy and never want to go outside again. Slices of my recent experiences here and here.)
But what matters is this – I let it all go. The people, the circumstances, the pain.
And someone was waiting for me on the other side – it was me. The real me. The me I’d forgotten. The me that you probably never got to meet. The me “they” never wanted me to remember.
But I remembered.
Which might make it sound like…
“So, you’re not a creative, kindness was a mask, and helping others shine was manipulation.” (This assumes that I got something out of it – I wouldn’t invest a single penny in that stock.)
And that’s not what I’m saying. I stand by what I did and who I was.
I’m still creative, I’m still kind, and if it made sense, I would still help another shine. These are not things you can take away from me.
What I’m saying is this:
From now on, it’s got to work for me too, not just for those I serve.
I can’t work for pennies on the dollar. I know my worth, and I’m unwilling to compromise.
I can’t give my time away to just anyone. Only to those who value the relationship.
I can’t work on projects just for the sake of it. Only projects that are aligned with my purpose.
From here on out, it’s not about productivity, quantity, or volume; it’s about alignment and purpose.
Have you ever had a moment where you finally “remembered” who you were before the world told you who to be? https://davidandrewwiebe.com/i-remembered-and-i-was-never-supposed-to/
